Mondays mug…

I am in denial I have to clean the kitchen put away clothes. I am upset Gavin had an anxiety attack. He started his new therapist today, loved her. I am sad he had a hard morning over is hair kids were rude. I love him so much he is so unique…I am wondering who raises these kids? Who gives them a heart That SHITS on people?
I want to fix things for him I don’t know what to do!!! I am lost.

So Not Funny…. Steve Woke up did this, trying Morning scare tactics and told Kailey he was going to her Tiger RUN this way…kailey ran out of the house. I might pretend we are in a 70s porn flick later…sort of creepy and kinky.

October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace!

Rainbow Rowell, Attachments

We had a great weekend full of fun. I met a mother In May from Hawaii and she was the one that told me about cheering with the college. Then we found out our sons were in the same kindergarten class. While the boys don’t really do much with each other she has three and her daughter is the same age as Logan and has one same age as liam a little bit older. We are going to have a play date with the younger boys. We planned a dinner date with our husband’s in a few weeks. See some potential she is interesting. Her husband is from Indiana and lived in Chicago. They moved here from Oklahoma her husband was working there she loved it he hated it.

I love walking to the football games from our house. …

Years ago I took a walk on this path and said this would be a lovely place to live in….and so it is.

“”“"Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn–that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness–that season which has drawn from every poet worthy of being read some attempt at description, or some lines of feeling.”“”“”

Jane Austen, Persuasion

The salon is next to campus so Gavin came to the tailgating after his nutcracker practice…. He and I faced our anxiety and we’re able to run over to get his hair fixed. We were happier with the results. Funky girl did it. Off we went back to meet up the family before the game started.

 "“"If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.”“”

Śāntide

My family is made of ingredients that are rare and unique…There is not a moment to ourselves for Steve and I but we know how lucky we are everyday.

The key is oxygen we always need to make sure we are rested, fed and have our center in check to be able to provide the love and care they need.

“”“"I was born into the most remarkable and eccentric family I could possibly have hoped for.”“”

Maureen O’Hara

No joke I had a fear of calling the women who cut Gavins hair. Gavin wants the buzz on back and sides shorter. Honestly the women who did Logans hair was more funky. But I left a message saying he loved it and needs it more buzzed to give it that hipster feel. I survived but now I await her call back.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

– Yoda

Making pancakes from scratch with amazing chocolate chips. ..gives you Rock Star status as a mom. Last night’s dinner for the kids.

“"Everyone runs around trying to find a place where they still serve breakfast because eating breakfast, even if it’s 5 o’clock in the afternoon, is a sign that the day has just begun and good things can still happen. Having lunch is like throwing in the towel.”“”

Jonathan Goldstein, Lenny Bruce is Dead

Last night Steve and I took a walk with layla. I wanted to walk over to campus to see kaileys swim coach she just left. I talk to her often and the other day we were talking for over an hour. I text her I would come by. I really loved the beauty of the moon and loved the serenity of the walk. It was parent weekend it was heartwarming to see the college kids showing their parents around. We met People from Texas, Chicago, Main….

https://open.spotify.com/track/0JcKdUGNR7zI4jJDLyYXbi?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio

One week after I gave birth to our first born. I was on Bed rest  for so long and I had bled out and had a stint put in awake at 25 weeks and 5 stones and a kidney infection. I just needed to get up so I took a doughnut to the movies and saw Star Wars and cried the whole time because I left my baby with my mom. So Steve said lets go home we will rent it later on and i never left my room again or my boy.


Absolutely no one who knows me better
No one that can make me feel so good
How did we stay so long together?
Everybody, everybody said we never would

And just when I
Start to think they’re right
The love has died

There you go making my heart beat again
Heart beat again, heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won’t you do it, do it one time?

There you go pulling me right back in
Right back in, right back in
And I know I’m never letting this go
I’m stuck on you

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue
You and me baby, we’re stuck like glue
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue
You and me baby, we’re stuck like glue

Some days I don’t feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up

When it doesn’t matter who’s right
Fight about it all night
Had enough, you give me that look
I’m sorry baby let’s make up

You do that thing that makes me laugh
And just like that

There you go making my heart beat again
Heart beat again, heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won’t you do it, do it one time?

There you go pulling me right back in
Right back in, right back in
And I know I’m never letting this go
I’m stuck on you
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue
You and me baby, we’re stuck like glue
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, stuck like glue
You and me baby, we’re stuck like glue

https://open.spotify.com/track/5uaTGZyDMK1iZ9eW1qeBEX?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio

My father died at age 54 to young from Cancer. I am trying to live like I am dying he was BAD ASS FOUGHT IT LIKE A CHAMP!!  He asked me to fight for him the Doctors wantd to stop treatment. I said I will do all I can  and if I have to have the talk with you do you want me to tell you the truth? Yes. I then fought and the day came when I had to close the door to his bedroom and HAVE THE TALK. I would have rather cut my own heart out then to tell him there was nothing else to do but hold on to each other and faith and fight ourselves.

He said I was in my early forties
With a lot of life before me
When a moment came that stopped me on a dime

I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options and talking bout sweet time

I asked him when it sank in
That this might really be the real end
How’s it hit ‘cha when you get that kind of news?
Man, what’d ya do?
And he said

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’

And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’

He said, I was finally the husband
That most the time I wasn’t
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have

And all of a sudden goin’ fishin’
Wasn’t such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I, I finally read the good book
And I took a good long hard look
At what I’d do if I could do it all again
And then

I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’

And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’

Like tomorrow was a gift
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What did you do with it?
What did I do with it?
What would I do with it?

Skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin’

And he said, Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin’

I give you 5 grandchildren I hope we make you proud. I am trying to live like I am dying. Love you miss you and see you on the other side besos!!!!

https://open.spotify.com/track/3I4nZ14GRL7eXwFDjCEEVr?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio

When I first saw you, I saw love
And the first time you touched me, I felt love
And after all this time,
You’re still the one I love

Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday

They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together still going strong

(You’re still the one)
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
(You’re still the one)
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night

Ain’t nothin’ better
We beat the odds together
I’m glad we didn’t listen
Look at what we would be missin’

They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together still going strong

(You’re still the one)
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life